don’t want no short people… round here

In a well researched article with plenty of fancy numbers in a sort of spreadsheet that should please Professor of Economics, the career advancing, facially hirsute, John Quiggin, THE SUN (UK) today presents an in-depth scientific investigation into the relationship between a male celebrity’s wealth and the height of his girlfriend.

We eagerly await an analysis at the Prof's blog on the utility of hot, tall, high maintenance g/f's and an investigation into my assertion that the market in these matters is not efficient.

I am also expecting Jason Soon to cave in and apologise to me. Out of 7 (ageing) rock and film star squillionaire shortarses 6 are wearing suits, of a sort. That's right, Mr (Scruffy) T Shirt Latte Cargo Pants and Sandals Blogger, only the Funky Short One, PRINCE, is sans suit. ha.

The long and short of it is that we wanted to know how titchy, ugly stars pull stunners with legs longer than a giraffe in heels. Our team of maths geniuses set out to find the link between lofty lovelies and big bank balances.

And our results show the greater the height difference, the more money the man needs.


Rising costs ... our height chart

But there’s an extra factor — the shorter the man, the more money is required per inch.

Read on about shortarses, Mick Jagger, Van Morrison, Artist Now Known as Prince again, etc....

lust, kids, family, marriage, wine, whine

I found a new blog last night and spent a delightful hour or so snickering and guffawing at the writing.

Go read Aussie Mama. Don't do it whilst drinking hot coffee in case you backblow hot drink up nose while laughing. Don’t start just at the latest post. Go back to archives. Start at the start. It’s a developing story.

I’ll vote it “Best Australian Blog I Only Just Discovered Before the End of 2004” if there is such a category in the 2005 Oz Blog Awards

nick cave carving nicked?

I had a small blogging piece on Nick Cave the other day, politely linking to the initial blog I came across, Sonata For Unfinished Yodelling, and also linking to news articles and Nick's own website.

Today in The AGE Steve Packer has picked up the Nick Cave statue meme and written about it . No blog links or acknowledgement. No news links. No links to Nick's page.

Serendipity?

More importantly, why can't news items or opinion pieces link to sources and further detail.

Makes you wonder. Doesn't it.

goody goody yum yum

I have very fond memories of The Goodies as they were on TV after the kids had got home from school when the kids were little. Not only were the Goodies funny but they were a little bit subversive and touched on politics a lot. I loved the Rolf Harris 's always popping up, the policemen at the pop concert were wonderful, the kitten sure was scary and I'm still looking for an Ecky Thoomp Club to practice my martial arts.

At around the same time we watched Kenny Everett. Kenny was so naughty and sexy and funny and crazy. I cried when he died of AIDS. The kids loved The Goodies and Kenny and his naughty bits, and I got to love them as well. There's nothing quite like genuinely enjoying something easily and naturally and in depth with your kids. I suppose real Australian dads do it through sport and being athletic. Us outsiders have to do it other ways.

James Russell wrote a nice piece on The Goodies some time back over at Hot Buttered Death (or HBD to us cognoscenti)

Immanuel Rant has spookily just blogged up something as I was typing here over at his corner of Ozblogyzthan

On 24 March 1975 Alex Mitchell, a 50-year-old bricklayer from King's Lynn literally died laughing whilst watching an episode of The Goodies. According to his wife, who was a witness, Mitchell was unable to stop laughing whilst watching a sketch in the episode "Kung Fu Kapers" in which Tim Brooke-Taylor, dressed as a kilted Scotsman, used a set of bagpipes to defend himself from a psychopathic black pudding in a demonstration of the Scottish martial art of "Hoots-Toot-ochaye." After twenty-five minutes of continuous laughter Mitchell finally slumped on the sofa and expired from heart failure.

The Goodies … British Comedy Legends Go LIVE in Australia 2005!….Tim, Bill and Graeme live up to their catchphrase “We go anywhere anytime!” Legendary British comedy trio The Goodies will appear live in their first ever touring stage show in Sydney on March 3, 4 and 5; in Melbourne on March 8; in Canberra on March 10 and in Brisbane on March 11.

Tickets to The Goodies Live @Sydney go on sale to the general public at 9:00am on December 13, through Ticketek www.ticketek.com.au, ph: 02 9266 4800

getting the feeling in those grooves

While watching a snippet of a TV program by Molly Meldrum tonight I learnt from Paul Hester that the night before they recorded "Don't Dream Its Over" , Neil Finn had told the others .." I don't think we're a band yet..".

They went to bed despondent.

They were still down and flat when they went into the studio to lay down the track in the morning.

They got the track IN ONE TAKE!. That one take is the song we listen to today.

Hester reckons the session and one take recording captured some of their sadness and ambiguity in that session.

I reckon Hester might be right.

whene'er we hear that glorious word

Loverly exchange caught on talkback radio in car today.

Thinking of our prolific blogging centrist and faux mick - Mark Bahnisch.

Discussion of Christmas.

Smarmy smartypants obnoxious inner city host*:

"So was your family from a religious background?"

Talk back caller:

"Heavens no - I was bought up a Catholic"

* how did you guess it was Virginia Trioli?

all you need is love

“The best thing we can do at Christmas is to show love."

Federal treasurer Peter Costello has already advised us to shower each other with love rather than spending up at Christmas.

Sometimes even Treasurers have something to teach us. I have taken his advice to heart and knocked up a series of handmade cards to send out to a few people.

To: Australian Tax Office

Dear Sir / Madam
You will no doubt notice that I have not as yet filed my tax return for 2003 /2004. From memory I owe around $20,000 GST payments and possibly a few K’s on personal tax, as well as super and employee payments.

I have prayed hard and have now formed a personal relationship with my maker. Following Peter Costello’s advice I wish to notify you that instead of the usual unthinking crass materialistic enclosure of money, I now send you, and all your staff, a love supreme.

Best wishes and good luck for next year.

With Love
FXH

Note to self:
re-jig letter for VISA and overdraft.
Think before sending one to Angelo the Bookie.
Ring Angelo’s “driver” re him visiting John Elliott to collect.

wangaratta, where there is no statue of nick cave

It's the season. Everyone is thinking of Old Nick. Certainly Sean Hegarty was when he wrote the piece on Nick Cave's hometown/s from which I purloined the heading above. I strongly suspect Sean's blog will reward further reading on most of his topics.

More on Nick from The SMH. A Nick interview from the UK Telegraph which is on Nick's own site Nick Cave Online where you can read Nick's letter to MTV on rejecting an award.

Extract from letter: (Nick wrote it in caps)

....I feel that it's necessary for me to request that my nomination for best male artist be withdrawn and furthermore any awards or nominations for such awards that may arise in later years be presented to those who feel more comfortable with the competitive nature of these award ceremonies. I myself, do not. I have always been of the opinion that my music is unique and individual and exists beyond the realms inhabited by those who would reduce things to mere measuring. I am in competition with no-one. My relationship with my muse is a delicate one at the best of times and i feel that it is my duty to protect her from influences that may offend her fragile nature...."

Theres a good SALON article here on Nick, if you can negotiate through the adverts to get a free view. It is possible. The article is by Thomas Bartlett who also has a blog called doveman.