don’t want no short people… round here

In a well researched article with plenty of fancy numbers in a sort of spreadsheet that should please Professor of Economics, the career advancing, facially hirsute, John Quiggin, THE SUN (UK) today presents an in-depth scientific investigation into the relationship between a male celebrity’s wealth and the height of his girlfriend.

We eagerly await an analysis at the Prof's blog on the utility of hot, tall, high maintenance g/f's and an investigation into my assertion that the market in these matters is not efficient.

I am also expecting Jason Soon to cave in and apologise to me. Out of 7 (ageing) rock and film star squillionaire shortarses 6 are wearing suits, of a sort. That's right, Mr (Scruffy) T Shirt Latte Cargo Pants and Sandals Blogger, only the Funky Short One, PRINCE, is sans suit. ha.

The long and short of it is that we wanted to know how titchy, ugly stars pull stunners with legs longer than a giraffe in heels. Our team of maths geniuses set out to find the link between lofty lovelies and big bank balances.

And our results show the greater the height difference, the more money the man needs.


Rising costs ... our height chart

But there’s an extra factor — the shorter the man, the more money is required per inch.

Read on about shortarses, Mick Jagger, Van Morrison, Artist Now Known as Prince again, etc....